Cried myself to sleep

I think there must be a reason that I have to cry myself to sleep for the last 3 nights. Something bad happened? Maybe not...Maybe yes. Or perchance, I'm just afraid of the things I don't know it's coming. That's why I like to plan so I have visibility more or less and know where I am leading to.

What am I doing? In 8-week time, I'm going to Australia with work and holiday visa. WHV is not an ideal that I originally hoped for. But sth told me I am destined to be there again somehow. Moreover, I want a journey round the globe. I just feel that this is the time to stay away from Thailand for LONG period. I don't know why I feel this way but I feel it. And I only hope that I didn't misunderstand the signs or make the wrong decision. And I don't know the answer.

Unpredictability is fun and makes life more adventurous and exciting. Surprise is good as long as it's not a bad one LOL My ankles are tied with a Bungy Jump's rope but I'm hesitated to jump!! Oh dear!